Backspace Broken

I am turning the pages of a novel
redolent with missed lives
adventures
lost loves
who exactly am I?

I glue tesserae on a substrate
mixing colors and textures
expensively purchased
carelessly found
a metaphor for my life?
am I an artist
a creator
melding hand and eye and heart
tears flowing into thinset

I log on each day
reach unseen across plains, mountains, seas
to grasp the hand
of another
opening eyes together
in a new way
teacher
student
which am I
I am which

Wiping bottoms
kissing knees
grounding wayward ways
abused
neglected
essential
nipples nuturing
spring forth unbidden
leaking love
my shirt is stained

wife
writer
photographer
friend

Could've been, would've been, might yet be

Lost connections
vital strong now broken
shattered by absence and
neglect
once meant so much
I miss them
why did I let them go?

Be the nanny
travel 'round the world

Train plane bus
to Chicago
editing a magazine

Marry the plumber?
he couldn't spell
no easy home for an english major

Enjoy injera
doro wat
in Addis Ababa

To much to fit in one carload
weighed down
by choices
vases, pictures, capsules of
memories made
two sets of silverware
a bike
gingerbread houses

Who did I think I was
did I become?

Dancing in the moonlight
weeping at dawn

Going going gone
life flies by

I sit at the computer and type
my life in the letters
print screen
enter
shift

backspace broken

white out
always leaves a mark