How do so many parents survive raising their children?

How do so many parents survive raising their children?

OR

I think I'm going postal

Mom,
Where's the paper I left on the arm of the sofa three weeks ago?
Did you see it?
Did you move it?
If I don't fax it in, I'm in big trouble.

I can't find my [sunglasses, keys, wallet, swimsuit, etc.].
I left them right here [stairs, kitchen table, kitchen counter, floor,
exercise bike, bathroom]
Why'd you move them?
I knew right where they were.

Read this form for me.
I don't understand it.
That's not what it says.
Well, did you even read it?

I just hate it when you don't fill up your car at night and
I have to put gas in it the next morning.
It's your car.
Why should I put gas in it?
Do you need to go anywhere?
I'm taking your car.
Can I have money for gas?
Do you have any idea what a gas guzzler this car is?
You should buy a car that gets better gas mileage.
I hate driving your car.
What, you need your car?
But I have plans.
How will I get there?

Pick up a gallon of milk?
You still "owe" me for the loaf of bread I bought last month.

Take out the garbage?
Just push it down further.
Its good for a couple more days.

Did I feed the dog?
Don't you trust me?
Why are you always reminding me?
I'm old enough, responsible enough.
Did I feed the dog?
Oh, I guess I'll do it now.
He needs water too?
Geez, I gave him water yesterday.

Why me?
You always pick on me.
Why do I have to sweep the floor?
You're closer to the broom,
why don't you just do it?
I'd have to walk across the room.

I need new shoes.
Those are tan.
I need white ones.
Buy them myself?
You always buy "them" stuff.
I have to buy my own.
It's not fair.
I'm the unloved one.

I hate you!
You don't know anything.
You don't understand.
You're so out of it.
A dinosaur would be younger.
Why'd you do it that way?
Don't stand near me.
Don't touch me.
You smell.
You're going out in that?
Do I have to go with you?
You've ruined my life.
If I don't succeed, its your fault.
Don't tell anyone you're my mom.
All my friends know how mean you are.
That's stupid.
I can't believe you said that.
You don't know how I feel.
I must be adopted.
I can't wait until I move out.
Would you do me this favor?

Its not my fault I wrecked the car.
I was just looking at a car for sale by the side of the road
And then they stopped
For a red light.
I thought they'd keep going
And I'd follow right through.
Now what will I drive?
Can I borrow your car keys?

Take the moped?
I'd rather be dead.

It's summer vacation.
I work so hard all year.
This is my vacation.
How much will you pay?
You're breaking child labor laws!
All my friends get paid.

It's the school year.
I work all day.
I'm tired.

On the weekend?
It's my only free time.
During the week?
I've got homework.

They charge for overdue books?
That much?
I won't have anything left if I have to pay that.
I have so many bills.

I'm eighteen.
I want to do a road trip.
I want to travel somewhere exotic.
Stay two weeks or so.
I can do it cheap.
They have to have all sorts of water sports.
I'll buy a new car.
Fully loaded.
Oh, they'll give me a loan.
I'll take this course for fun.
I need a personal trainer.
No, I don't have a job.

The economy is bad.
Adults are working jobs college students used to have.
What am I supposed to do?
That's minimum wage!
Not me.
They offered me the job but I think
I can find something better.
I started looking too late.
There's no point in applying for summer jobs now.
I'll try again in August.

Yes, I'll do it right away.
In a few minutes.
Yes, I know, I'll do it.
Get off my back.
I'll do it next.
In five minutes.
When I get home.
Tomorrow morning.
Oh, you did it?
I told you I'd do it.
What are you so mad about?
I was just about to do it.

You're leaving now?
I'm almost ready.
Just give me a second.
Wait for me.
I just have to change.
I'm on my way out.
You don't need that much time to get there.
Geez, I told you I'd be right out.

It's so great to be independent.
I'm an adult.
I've got my own place.
Handling the bills.
Running my own life.
My rules.
My time.
My place.
Before I go, could we run by the store?
Fill my freezer?
I need new clothes.
Gas money would be nice.
Hey, do you need these chairs?
My pillows are so old.

Sign here to co-sign for this loan.

Why don't you remodel your house?
At least do some fashion design.

You need new clothes.
Your glasses are retro
And that's not a compliment.

You haven't seen a movie in how long?
You don't know who Angela Jolie is?

You're so out of it.
Don't try to be cool.
It just won't work.

Program your VCR?
Change your ring to vibrate?
Clean up your computer?
You're so sad.
You can't do anything.

Put the dishes in the dishwasher like this.
Don't leave pots in the sink.
That's a hand towel, don't use it to clean up that mess.
Fold them like this.
Cold not hot.
Low not high.
Up not down.
You can't do anything right.
Let me show you how its done.
How do you function without me?

Listen to me.
Right now.
You have to do what?
Alright then, just forget it.
When you get back?
That's too late.
You never have time for me.
Just listen a minute.
You never want to listen to me.

Could you speak a little faster?
You must be planning to lie.
I don't have all the time in the world you know.
Tell me later.
Get to the point.

We should all go to Hawaii.
Can I bring a friend?